THE CARDS HAVE SPOKEN: Mercedes G-Class Crowned Bulletproof Monarch as the Land Cruiser Weeps Into Its Armor Plating

Draw the curtains. Light the candle. Madame Odds has gazed into the swirling mist and seen a shape: square, stubborn, and very, very hard to shoot through. BREAKING FROM THE BEYOND: the crowd has named the Mercedes-Benz G-Class the most trusted bulletproof ride, sitting on the throne with 43% consensus.

I turned over the Tower card and expected chaos, a bloody upset, a dark horse in tinted glass. Instead the spirits gave me the obvious answer. The boxy Mercedes, a long-time favourite of anyone who wants their vehicle armour to come with good posture, has walked straight to the top.

Close behind, rumbling out of the fog, is the Toyota Land Cruiser 300 at 33% consensus. The Ten of Swords hangs over it this week, though I'd call it a wounded warrior, not a dead one. The rest of the hopefuls, 1 other side, will have to ask the tea leaves for better news.

Now for the cold splash of reality. This prophecy is less than a day old, and so far 90 traders have put $459,156 behind their opinions on Morfi's opinion markets. Remember, those percentages are the crowd's conviction, not a headcount. A crown built this fast can still slip, and the Land Cruiser's spirit has not yet left its body.

Think the orb is cloudy? Think a Toyota would shrug off a hailstorm of lead better than any Mercedes? Cross my palm with your conviction and join the market on Morfi. The cards may have spoken, but the crowd can still shout over them.